I’m moving this week.
I’ve known this move was coming for a couple months now and the transition from old to new has been surprisingly smooth. The pros of this move outweigh the cons so that’s always a positive thing. If you would have told me, when I moved to Florida in 2012, I would be moving again for the sixth time in a little less than eight years I would have probably not believed you.
This move has raised the question: have I grown since last year?
I like to think I am wiser and know more what I want out of life but I have found myself not really knowing what I’m doing at all. Even trying to figure out what to pack and move to the new place early had me thinking, I don’t know.
I don’t know. The more I think about it, those three words are super freeing. These last few weeks I’ve felt that not knowing was a negative thing but now I’m starting to view it as positive. Admitting that I don’t know allows me the freedom to try new things and it keeps me open to the possibilities of life. I don’t know also means I’m less sure of where I’m going from a year ago but it frees me to think about where I want to be.
I used to be ashamed that I didn’t know what I wanted especially when I was in college. Every time someone would ask me what I wanted to be after graduating, I didn’t know how to answer and felt like a bit of a loser. After all, every 18 to 22 year-old knows what they want out of life… in a perfect world.
I don’t know allows me to explore with no pressure on having to get it right because I’m not striving to reach an end goal. I am able to think outside of the box and form new ideas, explore them, and see what works for me.
Not knowing allows life to be a process of discovery. Discovering what brings your heart joy. Discovering what gives you energy and what depletes you. Discovering what you love and letting go of what no longer serves you.
Not knowing has allowed me to see how unformed my future is and realize I have the power to shape it however I would like. Hopefully by this time next year I will be able to reflect on the growth I have made from not knowing.
I’m moving this week.